Holding on and Letting go
by Crossbows-and-dreams
Summary: Before the Zombie apocalypse happened Daryl Dixon was in the Military. He left Afghanistan to come back and protect America from the virus that was taking over. His long-time girlfriend still holds hope of them one day being together even though she hadn't seen him for over two years.
1. Chapter 1

**Holding on and letting go  
I will find you  
**

Hey guys I have a new story for you =) I hope you like it, it is based around Daryl. Thank you for reading and if you like this maybe check out my other story.

_Flash backs are in italics _

One of the hardest things in life is letting go, it's a life that over the last two years I have had to get used to I suppose everyone had to. It was September 2011 when the virus broke out and I heard for the first time, their where a couple of cases in Miami where people had gone 'crazy' and started taking chunks out of their co-workers. I should have known it was something serious when it showed the soldiers evacuating from Afghanistan to come home to America. That gave my hope they were coming home… the man I loved was coming home. That was two years ago and now I reside on the border of Atlanta, I hadn't seen him. I should have known I would never see him again after the day I got evacuated from our house and brought to Tallahassee but one part of me didn't want to give up. The plan wasn't working the plan to clean up America wasn't working; it had been left to rot into the ground. Sometimes I wonder if it has hit the rest of the world and if not how do they live knowing a once thriving amazing country has burnt to the ground and is now the home of the undead.

I was sat on a mattress in the corner of a dark pokey room I shared with two other teenage girls; It wasn't that bad after all I am only twenty two. I stared down at the photograph in my hand it was taken about four years ago I was only 18, He was 23 I always had a thing for older boys, it was Christmas and we were both sat in front of the tree with big smiles on our faces. I remembered how that Christmas Merle got drunk and set the tree on fire but Daryl managed to save it, I laughed to myself what I would give for another messed up Christmas like that. There was a quite knock on the door and I looked up still holding the photo of him in my hand. "Ronnie" a quiet voice called. I looked up and smiled at the skinny teenage boy stood in front of me.

"Hey Jasper" I said after clearing my throat.

He smiled and looked down at the photo in my hand. "We made food. Nothing fancy just soup and Megan baked some bread, it's not the best but" he lead of and shrugged. Jasper was a nice boy only seventeen but he had a good heart.

I shook my head. "It's fine I am not that hungry" I told him, he pulled a face at me this will be the third day in a row I have not eaten.

"It's coming up to that time of year again?" he asked knowing full well the answer.

I nodded and looked back down at the photo "Already" I mumbled running my thumb over his face.  
"You miss him" he stated.

"More than you will ever know" I whispered. Jasper stepped into the room closing the door behind him. He walked over and sat on the mattress across from mine. He understood the rule of personal space.

"You have come a long way Ronnie. When we found you, you were a mess and dying" he stated I nodded remembering, I was in agony and heart broken. I closed my eyes to stop myself from shedding any tears.

"I am thankful you saved me Jasper I am thankful for all of you. I can't help but want to find him" I told him truthfully.

"He was on the front line Ronnie. We saw what happened to the rest of the troops. We have no form of commination no idea where he was based. The chances of finding him ar-"I raised my hand and cut him off.

"You have told me, slim to none" I finished for him he shot me a sympathetic look, when I said it, it sounded harsh.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. He sat there for another thirty seconds or so in silence before getting up.

"I'll make sure everyone leave you some food you can come for it later if you like?" he asked I didn't bother looking up at him as I knew he would anyway, he has done for the last two nights I'm sure he liked to believe I ate when everyone else was asleep.

I lead down on my bed placing the picture right next to my head on my pillow I closed my eyes to relive the last time I spoke to him. 

_I was at the house sat on the porch reading a book; the sun in Texas was hot as always never a let-down. I gazed out to the perfect view in front of me the fields and the horses. The only thing that could have made it better is if Daryl was sat next to me holding my hand. He left for Afghanistan ten weeks ago and I had only heard from him once. I smiled knowing soon he would call again he tried to call whenever he could but I knew it was going to be hard. I ran my hand across my stomach I had exciting news for him so I hoped he would call. As if by magic the phone began to ring I smiled and dashed inside to grab it. 'Hello' I answered quickly waiting for a reply._

'Baby' a tired voice whispered through the line. I clutched the phone tighter in my hand and lent against the wall smiling, it was so good to hear his voice.

'Daryl' I whispered back.

'Baby I need you to turn on the news' he told me I frowned and walked into the living room.

'What's wrong?' I asked. He didn't answer; I turned on the TV onto the news channel and turned it up.

_**'What happened in Miami was no one off, there is a virus that is taking over the human body and turning them into what seem to be man eating zombies. This isn't a joke stay in your homes do not leave. The American army are going to be taking care of you we are evacuating from all over the world and bringing the troops home, they need to help America now god bless their souls'  
**__  
I quickly flicked the TV off and grabbed my phone tighter 'Daryl what's going on?' I asked in a more worried voice._

'It's going to be okay Ron' he reassured me.

I shook my head. 'I'm scared' I told him. Zombies? Like real man eating Zombies, wake up Ronnie.

'Lock the doors, I swear to god I will come and get you I will protect you' Daryl told me through the phone, I knew he would he a protector and a survivor.

'Protect us' I whispered.

'Us?' he asked.

I laughed quietly and looked down and my stomach I was just starting to show I was 5 months, how I had not found out sooner I don't know. 'Daryl I tried getting through to you but it was next to impossible I always had to wait for your call' I told him.

'Ronnie?' he asked I could tell he was smiling he knew what I was going to say. Daryl had never been opposed to children he always told me he wanted us to be a family. 'Ron I have to go I love you remember that okay promise me you will not leave the house' he said quickly the smile dropped from my face. 'Promise me' he repeated. I opened my mouth but no words came out. 'I love you so much Ronnie' Daryl said his voice sounded different he sounded like he was holding back tears, just what was he seeing.

'I love you too Daryl' I whispered, suddenly the line went dead. 'Daryl?' I asked but it was too late he was gone. 

My dreams where interrupted by one of the girls I share the room with, Terri. "Ronnie wake up we have walkers" she said in a panicked voice, I sat bolt upright and looked at her.

"How many?" I asked.

"At least a hundred counted, Marvin says we gotta go pack your stuff quick" she told me I looked down we had not moved in 4 months this place was really starting to feel like home.

"Go where?" I asked looking back up at the younger girl.

She stopped throwing things in her bag "I don't know" she was scared then again we were all scared constantly on the road from the undead. I packed up my stuff and bent down to grab my photo; I placed a kiss on it and shoved it in my pocket.

I dragged my bag out to the lorry we travelled in, it was a gas guzzler but we could take a lot with us and fit everyone in it. I spotted Marvin at the fence fighting off walkers that where trying to get in. "Marv hurry up" Jasper called from the driver seat, one good thing about the apocalypse, no need for a drivers licence.

Marvin stabbed one last walked through the skull before turning and running to the truck. With everyone on board we started to drive. There was ten of us we had kept that number for a while we had been lucky but really we were just good at hiding and not being seen. Driving in the day is something different for us, it scared me. I looked over at the tanned man who was rubbing his wrist. "Where are we going Marvin?" I asked the question that was on everyone's mind. The bad thing about Marvin is that he wasn't a big talker and that was a bad trade to have when everyone looked at you as if you where their leader.

"The country side maybe find a small town we can build walls around. We need to stock up on building equipment anything, if you find cement you get it, and screws, nails, wood anything you bring it back to where we set up" He told the group all the glum faces in the back of the truck nodded. "We are staying away from all the big city's so get used to the sight of grass people" Marvin muttered.

"I'd take grass over walkers any day" Terri joked.

They all began to talk amongst themselves I pulled out the picture and looked at it, it never got boring to me every time I looked at it I remembered a different memory of him. I know he is alive Daryl Dixon is a survivor I know that, I don't care how I do it or even if I have to do it alone I am going to find him.__

**Well thank you for reading sorry about no Daryl in this chapter but the next one is based on him and his group, please leave feedback and ideas let me know if you like it or not. Thank you for your time again. **


	2. Broken hearted man

**Holding on and Letting go**

**Thanks to the people who reviewed and followed my story – glad you like it so far I hope I am going to live up to expectation, so as promised Daryl's chapter.**

And not that this matters but I am listening to old school Justin Timberlake 3 Just thought I'd let you know.

**Broken hearted man**

Today the walkers are gathering by the fences in bigger numbers than usual I was out with Maggie, Glenn and Michonne keeping them under control. As I drove my stick through yet another walkers head my mind couldn't help but wonder life before all of this the people I killed it seemed like such a big deal back then and now, murderer is on everyone to do list.

"We got most of them they should be okay for now" Glenn stated as he stood back from the fence, Maggie soon stopped and walked over to Glenn he put his arms around her and she smiled. To be young and in love, and to think that was me once upon a time, and how times have changed. I dropped my stick and walked past the sickening couple back to the cell block. Carol was serving up the squirrel I had caught today it gave me great pleasure to know everyone was still eating good.

"This is so good thank you Daryl without you all we would survive on is stale MM's" Rick joked I smiled and nodded.

"Just doing my bit" I mumbled back as I took another bite of the meal, it was good but then again anything is good when it's the only meal you might have for the next two days.

"How are the crops coming Rick" Beth asked with a smile on her face.

"We will have fresh cucumber and tomatoes by the end of the week I should think something to go with this squirrel" Rick rambled on smiling, everyone laughed.

"I never thought I would be so happy to eat my veggies" Carl joked. Tonight spirits where high in the group, we hadn't had any accidents and the walkers where under control. Nobody had lost anybody recently.

I stood up to go take my plate over to the sink. As I stood Judith began to cry. "She is due a feed" Beth said quickly taking another bite of her meal, I held my hand out.

"I got it you keep eating" I told her, heads shot up and looked at me weird, anyone would think I just grew a second head.

"Okay" she said quietly picking her plate back up. I walked over to the cot Judith was led in I leant over and smiled.

I picked her up and she let out a little cry, I held her close "Hey Judith" I mumbled into her hair. I walked into the other part of the Cell block. "Let's go get you a bottle shall we" I said as I grabbed a clean bottle off the side, I walked around in circles as I fed her the bottle. She looked so peaceful and happy. "There we go" I whispered. It reminded me of old times how something could be so innocent. I hummed her the tune of 'Hey jude' by the Beatles and she smiled. I took the bottle from her and smiled. "You like the Beatles huh?" I asked she smiled up at me. "Of course you do they made music, I miss it" I told her. I began to rock her gently as I sung quietly. "_Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better_"

"Daryl" a voice interrupted me I jumped and turned around clutching Judith tighter, it was just Beth I released my grip a little on the baby.

"Oh hey didn't expect you to finish so quickly, here" I muttered handing over Judith, she took her and stayed staring at me.

"She is smiling?" She asked almost as if she was shocked.

I smiled and stepped closer to look down at the baby. "Yeah she is a fan of the Beatles aren't you ass kicker?" I said as I ran my hand over her small head.

I could feel Beth's eyes burning into my skull. "Are you okay?" she asked.

I took a step back and stretched my shoulders. "Why wouldn't I be?" I asked she looked nervous.  
"We have just been talking and-" I cut her off.

I crossed my arms and lent back against the wall. "Look Beth if you are planning on staging an intervention forget it, there is nothing wrong with me I just have a lot on my mind at the moment" I told her hoping she would leave it alone. Of course she would not leave it alone, no one ever does.  
"Well maybe if you talk about it you will feel better" She said with a smile on her face, I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter Beth what has happened has happened there is no going back, all the people we have lost they are never coming back. You know that just as well as me" I told her harshly, I looked down at Judith who was still smiling, maybe she liked my voice.

"You never talk about your past Daryl I am just saying if you ever want to we are all here for you" She told me.

"No one really cares Beth once you get that in your head you will be a stronger person" I reminded her she pouted and rolled her eyes.

"I am strong Daryl" She muttered rocking Judith from side to side.

"You're numb and in shock. I told you your boyfriend was dead and not one tear fell, not one. You have somehow become the person that didn't care" I reminded her.

She was quite for a minute, she kissed Judith's head. "You have to do what you have to do to keep yourself protected, you can't let yourself get weak" She told me in a quiet voice.

"So if I was to cry when someone was taken would that make me weak?" I asked honestly. I didn't know anymore.

"We all know you are not weak Daryl" she whispered I shook my head and turned to face the wall. Go I miss the way it used to be, I couldn't take this anymore.

"Is everything okay in here?" Ricks voice asked from the doorway I looked over at him and nodded, I took one last look at Beth and Judith before walking over to him.

"Yeah just on my way out" I muttered passing him, he turned and grabbed my shoulder.

"Way out where?" He asked in a stern voice.

"Hunting" I simply responded. "And I am very aware it is dark" I added.

"Daryl is everything okay?" Rick asked.

I turned and hit the metal bars on one of the cells drawing blood to my own hand. "Why do people keeping asking me that? Look I already told Beth save your intervention for someone who gives a crap" I yelled Rick held both of his hands up.

"I wasn't going to give you an intervention Daryl" He told me "I am not opening the gate, you can come out with me in the morning on a run we will have a chat then" He told me before walking over to his child that was now crying, he took her into the other cells.

I looked over at Beth who was staring at the floor. "Sorry" I muttered before storming outside.

I walked over to the fence, it was pitch black there wasn't even that many walkers about but there were a few, enough for me to vent my anger. I picked up a sharp stake and drove it through one of their heads immediately pulling it out and moving on to the next one. About 24 walkers later I fell back onto the grass and screamed.

I threw the bloody stake to the side of me and led down looking up at the stars. "Are you even out there?" I whispered to myself. I wanted my family back I wanted her back more than anything. I knew that day when I called her and heard her voice for the last time she had something to tell me, after weeks and months of thinking about it and trying to convince myself otherwise I knew she was carrying my child, or she was I have no idea what happened to either of them. It's the not knowing that is slowly killing me.

Suddenly I sat up and grabbed my crossbow that was leant against the fence; I pulled it over my body so it was hanging on my back. I quickly turned behind me to see if anyone else was outside it was just me. I looked up at the sturdy fence and gave it another shake, from what I could see there were only five walkers on the other side, I could take them.

I grabbed the fence and climbed up it clearing the top, the barbed wire cut my arm I rolled my eyes and ripped part of my T-shirt off to cover the wound making sure I didn't attract anymore walkers. One approached me holding its arms out foaming at the mouth; I pulled a face and drove my knife through its neck.

"Mother fucker" I hissed as I pulled my knife out and cleaned it on the grass before putting it back in my belt. This was a stupid idea I should have just waiting until the morning I could have easily slipped away from Rick. I shook my head and took a deep breath, I walked into the dark forest with just my cross bow and a knife, not even a light. Daryl Dixon you are a broken man.

**Not a long chapter but I just needed everyone to know how misunderstood Daryl is and also I don't wanna rush the story.**


	3. Loose Grip

**Holding on and letting go**

**Thank you for all the positive things you have said over review or personal message, and a big thank you to the people following me and my story's. Sorry about the delay in updates but I have been working a lot and they keep calling me in on my days off. **

**Remember guys italics are flashbacks**

**Loose grip**

It's midday and the breeze in the air blew through my hair, I saw the group congregating around the vehicles. I pulled myself up off my sleeping bag and walked over to them. Honestly I felt like shit that was the worst night sleep I have had in a while. When I reached them there was a map folded out over the bonnet of the lorry "We are running out of food, I did some research and there is a town fifteen miles that way about. We can pick up some essentials and get back on the road" Jasper stated pointing out where the town was on the map, I looked over at Marvin he had the same facial expression as always, sometimes I think what his secrets might be, why he is so quiet and collected all of the time maybe he was in the military like Daryl was.

Marvin unfolded his arms and put them on his hips. "What makes you think we are getting back on the road so soon?" Marvin asked Jasper opened his mouth but nothing came out for a while.

"Look at us… We are living in tents we are basically walker bate, we can't have the woman sleeping in these conditions we need to protect everyone and that means from normal illnesses too, Marvin think about it" Jasper ranted on Marvin was quite for about a minute, no one said anything we all knew it was a bad idea to stay here but at the end of the day it was Marvin's choice, we didn't stand a chance without him.

"We will pick up the essentials, then I will think about our next move. We are not going anywhere tonight" He told the group. He looked over at me and let his arms slid from his hips "Ronnie are you in?" He asked.

"Why me?" I asked scratching my arms, runs where not my thing I had only been on three and every single time I stared death in the face, literally.

"Because I think you should come on a run, it's been so long since you have been on one" he told me I nodded and looked over at Jasper who was laughing.

"That's because walkers have a tendency to try and kill her" He joked I smiled and punched his arms.

"Shut up Jasper. I'll come if you need me Marv" I told him he nodded and turned around.

"Good well load up and we will head out" He said facing the lorry; I looked over at Jasper who was pulling faces at him behind his back.

I walked back to my tent to grab my knife and put a fresh top on when Megan came and joined me, her hair was short and blond and she was very petite. "He is such a dick sometimes, I don't see why you can't stay here with me and do the washing" she complained, I knew for a fact she hated getting left behind she had told me before how useless she felt to the group I kind of felt bad for her.

I smiled and rubbed her arm. "It's fine, hey do you have anything in particular you want me to keep an eye out for?" I asked trying to lighten the mood a little, she smiled and nodded.

"Soda… if you find any kind of soda our friendship will last a very long time" She told me with a big grin on her face I laughed and nodded.

"You got it" I told her. I grabbed my knife and shoved it in my belt. I exited the tent followed by Megan. "Hey Jasper I need some ammo" I shouted over to the teenager with the duffle bag filled with ammo.

he smiled and unzipped his bag. "Oh now you want to talk now you need something" He joked I smiled and nudged him.

"Shut up, come on what do we have here?" I asked looking in the bag, he pulled out two glocks.

He smiled and held them up. "I think you should carry these" he told me with a big grin on his face.

"Two hand guns who do you think I am Lara Croft?" I asked he laughed and shrugged.

"Honey you are more fabulous than Angelina Jolie ever was I mean where is she now her career is obviously washed up" He said with an eye roll I laughed, he had a good sense of humour and that is what I missed most about people, the smiling and the laughing. All I ever seem to see now is crying and well … dead.

I smiled at him. "Which reminds me one day you and me need to hit Hollywood and make an award winning film for when this is all over" I told him he grinned and nodded.

"I vote musical I always wanted to be the next Zac Efron" He told me I laughed and grabbed the two guns of him pulling them in my holsters.

"Of course you do" I mumbled. "Come on let's get to the car before Marvin has a breakdown" I stated getting up. We walked over to the lorry; Marvin was already there with his shot gun.

"Yo, wait for me" a voice yelled I turned and saw Jason another member of the group.

Marvin crossed his arms. "Jason where have you been?" he asked the 30 year old.

He smiled and winked at Marvin "Busy" he told him.

I looked over at Jasper who already was giggling. "Hope you put something on that thing last thing we need is you knocking up every girl in the group" Marvin muttered as he got in the driver's seat.

"Hey I am just trying to repopulate" Jason argued with a smile on his face.

"Come on enough with the talking are we going to do this" I said.

"That's the Ronnie we know and love" Jasper smiled.

"Let's just do it" I muttered as I hopped in the back of the lorry followed by Jasper. He pulled the back door down and we were sealed in darkness, the engine started and I we started moving. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous I hated being on the front line I wasn't strong enough, ever since I met Daryl he protected me from everything, where is he now?

Me and Jasper talked about little things for a while I had my hand in my pocket touching the photo of me and Daryl. "Do you carry him everywhere?" Jasper asked I looked up at him, I couldn't see his face properly it was too dark.

"Everywhere I can't seem to stop looking at it" I told him truthfully.

"It's not a bad thing" he muttered.

"It makes me weak, I feel weak without him. Daryl had a way of making me feel optimistic that is why I know he is still out there. I just keep thinking about the last time we said goodbye to each other. I was so upset" I told him quietly.

"Tell me about it" he said simply I smiled and pulled the photo out of my pocket.

_I woke up early that day it was the day I was dreading Daryl was leaving. I turned over in bed and saw him sleeping soundly. I smiled and ran my hand through his hair; he woke up slowly and turned over to face me. "I love how you look in the morning" He mumbled in a sleepy voice. He brought one arm up and put it around me crushing me against his body; I turned my head and kissed his naked chest._

"I'm gonna miss this" I whispered holding back my tears; I pressed my face into his warm body. Somehow he still made me feel protected against the fact he was leaving.

"It's only for a little while" Daryl whispered.

"And you are doing a great thing but I hate knowing I won't see your face" I whimpered a tear fell from my eye onto his hot body. He suddenly sat up and wrapped his arms around me pulling me on top of him; he buried his head into my neck and hair.

"I love you so much Ronnie. Every day I am out there I will be thinking about you, not a second will go by where you are not in my head." He murmured against my skin pressing kisses every now and again. "I love you" he repeated.

"I love you too Daryl more than anything" I whispered, he looked up and turned my head to face him, he pressed his lips against mine kissing them softly. He ran his hand through my hair grabbing a handful of it.

"You're so beautiful" He told me I smiled and pressed my forehead against his.

"So are you" I whispered pecking my lips against his again. The day went on and we both got up and showered … together. Come lunch time Merle was in the kitchen dressed in overalls he had obviously been doing some work on his bike.

"Little brother" He said in a low voice pulling Daryl in for a hug. He was dressed in his uniform he looked so smart, he brought a tear to my eye I was so proud of him. "You look the part let's just hope you can kick some asses" He joked patting him on the back. "Is your ride here?" he asked. Daryl looked over at me and back at his brother.

"Waiting outside" He mumbled in a glum voice. I knew I was making it harder for him to leave.

Merle nodded and looked over at me "I'll leave you to say your goodbyes, love you man" he said.  
"Love you too. Merle?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah?" he asked wiping the oil of his hands on his overalls.

Daryl walked closer to Merle making sure I didn't hear, but I did "Look after her, don't let anything happen to her." He whispered.

"You got my word little brother" Merle promised, he shook his hand. Merle turned and walked back into the garage after saying goodbye to his brother. I wondered how they acted so cool.

He turned to me and smiled. "You" He said.

I wiped the tears away from my face. "Me" I whimpered.

"Come here" He said I ran over to him he caught me in his arms, I wept. "Don't cry baby" he whispered against my wet cheek.

"I'm sorry" I whispered kissing his neck.

He placed his hand on my neck. "I love you. I will be back before you know it, snoring, not cleaning my dishes and watching TV" he told me smiling I looked up at him and smiled.

"I can't wait" I whimpered.

"When I get back I have every intention of making you mine" He told me I closed my eyes and pressed my head against his.

"I'm already yours" I whispered.

He smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Well we shall see about that" he told me. "Come on" he said pulling me to the door, I shook my head and pulled him back wrapping my arms around him as tight as possible.

"No please" I whispered. He whimpered himself and held me tight.

"Baby we have talked about this I have to go" he told me I nodded.

"I'm sorry Daryl I love you so much I can't live without you please be careful and come home to me" I cried.

"I will I have every intention of coming back and kissing you senseless" He said in a weak voice, I could hear that he was holding tears back.

"I love you" I whispered looking him in his beautiful eyes.

"I love you too" He told me. I grabbed his hand and led him to the front door, he opened it and we stepped out into the hot air. There was a black car waiting for him at the bottom of the drive.

"Bye baby" I whispered staring at the car.

He grabbed my chin and made me face him. "I will see you soon, I promise I love you" he said one last time before placing a kiss on my lips. Our last kiss.

I watched him walk away and get in the car. That was the last time I saw Daryl Dixon. As soon as the car was out of sight I dropped to the floor and wept it wasn't long before I felt a pair of strong hands pick me up.

"Come on little lady come in the garage we can talk" Merle told me in his best attempt to be nice, I smiled and him and nodded holding back more tears.

"Okay" I whispered. I followed Merle back into the garage to talk. 

_**-End flashback-**_

"That was the last time you saw him, wow he must have been one hell of a guy Ronnie. I totally respect him for what he did for our country and you should be proud of him" He told me I felt his hand on my arm, I smiled at him even though he couldn't see me.

"I am so proud of him. Where here" I told him clearing my throat.

Marvin opened the back door. "No walkers in sight stay low" he hissed I nodded and jumped out of the lorry with the photo still in my hand. We got into the supermarket and grabbed shopping cart. I looked over at the side and saw some Pepsi I smiled and grabbed a 12 pack.

"Hey" Jasper said I jumped and dropped the Pepsi. I looked at him and smacked his arm.

"Shit you scared me. You can grab another box for that" I told him he rolled his eyes and grabbed another box of it. I turned around and I was face to face with a walker, I dropped my photo and drew for my gun shooting him in-between the eyes.

The gun shot attracted more before I knew it there must have been ten walkers surrounding me and Jasper, the photo was out of sight. "My photo!" I shouted running forward to find it. Jasper grabbed my wrist and yanked me back shooting multiple walkers in the head.

"Come on we will come back for it I promise" he yelled back at me. I looked at it on the floor under a walker drenched in blood. He yanked me again to run the opposite way Marvin and Jason where already at the lorry loading it up, we exited the building and fired some shots at walkers until we were out of ammo. I drew my knife and viciously stabbed on I the neck.

"You mother fucker!" I screamed when it dropped on the floor, I kicked it multiple times before Marvin picked me up and threw me in the back of the lorry.

"Pull yourself together Ronnie it's gone" Marvin hissed pulling the back door down locking me in. I ran to the back door and banged on it.

"Please" I begged.

"Honey" Jasper whispered touching my arm.

"No" I shouted pulling my arm out of his grip. I lost Daryl I lost all I have left. 


	4. Wake up

**Holding on and letting go**

**I forgot to wish everyone a happy Halloween, so here it is a belated happy Halloween guys hope you all made dashing Zombies ;) I know I looked like one after about 6 hours of none stop writing haha. Another Daryl chapter here for you and thanks again for the support you are giving me, I really does make me want to write more If I know I am writing for people who are actually liking it.**

PS: I am my own Beta Reader so if there is any problem with my spelling and grammar I would love it if you pointed it out, all learning curves right? Haha - anyway on with the story.

**Wake up**

Rick found me last night, I didn't even get that far he talked me into coming back to the prison for a good night sleep and said we could go out tomorrow. He has no idea what I want, no idea what I am looking for but then again I have no idea where to look. "Glad to see you are still with us" Ricks annoying voice woke me; I glared at him looking up off my mattress. "You gonna get yourself dressed and come have some breakfast?" He asked as he lent against the rail around my perch.

I groaned and turned over to face him properly. "Is that an order?" I asked sarcastically.

"Daryl I am not your leader you have complete control over what you do. Everything I say to you I am saying as a friend" Rick told me I rolled my eyes he was a patronising man but at the same time he has been like a brother to me ever since Merle died he always has my best interests at heart even though I hate to say it.

I mumbled and sat up, I ran my hand through my dirty hair and looked up at him "We gonna go on that run today?" I asked.

Rick placed his hands on his hips and nodded. "Just you and me, give you a chance to talk and get some things out in the air" He told me I rolled my eyes again.

"I have nothing to say Rick" I told him as I lead back down on my mattress.

He cocked his head to the side. "I think you have a lot to say, don't hold back on me" he complained.

"Just bring Glenn and Michonne along too we can talk later, plus the more people we take the more we can stock up make sure we get enough food for everyone" I pointed out trying to get him off my back, I didn't want to talk at all and even if I did Rick Grimes would be the last person I would confide in.

"Alright" He mumbled as he turned and walked away giving me another five minute of peace before fully waking up to a hectic day.

After getting up and eating I headed out to my bike, I figured I'd clean myself up after the run so I could was all the blood off me. Soon after I got to my bike everyone congregated around the cars including a very moody looking Maggie. "Do you really have to kidnap my boyfriend to go on this run?" she asked in an annoyed voice, Glenn looked like a little lost puppy next to that fire cracker, blatantly clear who wears the pants in that relationship.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "What other plans do you have walking hand in hand along the walker ridden fences, come on Glenn get in" I told him she glared at me and turned to him.

"Love you" He said smiling probably hoping she would too, she flashed some form of woman smile the type that says 'if you really love me you would…'.

"Love you be careful" She mumbled.

Rick shoved his gun into his holster and looked over at me. "You ready?" He called, I leant back in my seat on my chair and adjusted the strap on my cross bow.

"Always" I said winking at him.

He nodded. "See you there, stay close to the car don't do that thing where you speed off we need to stick together since we are using somewhere new for supplies" he told me in a stern voice I smiled like a child, I had never been on for doing what I was told, I played with the hem of my poncho and smiled.

"Would I do that?" I asked sarcastically.

"Don't we will see you all when we get back" He said turning to the rest of the group. Rick got into the car followed by Glenn and Michonne, Carol and Beth were waiting at the front gate to let us out, I guess Hershel was inside looking after little ass kicker.

Before I set off Carl sauntered over. "Get me some skittles while you are out?" he asked with a smile on his face I laughed and nodded, Zombie apocalypse happens and kids still want candy.

"Carl if I find skittles I will bring you the whole box" I told him he smiled.

"Awesome" He whispered before bumping my fist, I nodded at him and switched my key turning on my brothers roaring bike. I revved it up a little and rolled my eyes, I needed oiling BAD. I need to pick up some supplies for my bike. 

We pulled up at an old store. There were smashed windows and dead walkers around, fresh dead walkers. "Looks like people have been here recently" I muttered jumping off my bike.

"Do you think there is anything left?" Glenn asked looking over at Rick.

"I'm sure we will be able to salvage some things, come on be careful" Rick said they all walked toward the door and scoped out the entrance, meanwhile I was pulling a shopping cart out and wheeling it over to them. They all turned to me and lowered their weapons.

"What I need a shopping cart" I argued because of their judging looks.

"Smooth" Michonne mumbled.

"You look like an iconic house wife" Glenn said as he laughed I squinted my eyes thinking of a million and one come backs, all racist and all not cool.

"Screw you guys I'm going to get shit for my baby" I muttered.

"Stay within shouting distance Daryl" Rick warned me I didn't even need to look at him to know the facial expression he had, that same prude look he wore every day for the past god knows how long.  
"Yes mother" I muttered as I pushed my cart off, trust me to grab the cart with the squeaky wheel. I headed straight to the motor section they had everything for the first time in a long time I smiled a genuine smile. Grabbing odd things off the shelf I wheeled the cart out and opened the trunk of the car placing them in the back so I could go back in and help the others.

"Daryl" I heard Rick yell I quickly slammed the back door shut and grabbed my crossbow ready to shoot at any walkers.

"Where are you Rick?" I said in a loud voice but not quite a shout, I didn't want to attract anymore walkers.

"Isle four we are cut off on both sides" Rick told me I nodded to myself and put and arrow in my cross bow, I stealthily walked around the isles until I saw a walker, I shot him in the head and he hit the deck, I loaded another arrow and took another on down. It wasn't long before the walkers caught on and came after me that gave Rick, Michonne and Glenn a chance to run.

"Daryl, get out!" Rick screamed as he exited the building with arms full off food.

"You first" I yelled back pulling out my knife sliding it into the next of a walker. I watched them leave the building and probably load the car up. There were at least 10 walkers on my pursuit, I couldn't get to the door. I heard Rick screaming my name; I turned and jumped on to of some shelves out of the walkers reach. "I'll meet you back at the prison" I yelled back at him. I looked down and kicked a walker in the head crushing its eye socket. I wanted them to leave me I could take care of this I only had four more to kill. I knew there were more coming though. Suddenly I heard gun shots I looked over at the door and Rick was stood firing his gun at the last four walkers. "Shit do you have any idea what you have just done!" I yelled jumping down from the shelf.

"I know exactly what I did Daryl saved you! Are you on some kind of suicide mission today?" He snapped I was an inch away from hitting him before I looked behind him.

"Rick" I simply said He looked at me with wider eyes, I pointed behind him. He turned to see the wave of walkers coming towards us.

"We need to leave now" He said running out of the building I wasn't far after him jumping on my bike and revving it up I revved it a couple of times and knocked it into gear suddenly it stalled.

"Shit baby come on" I mumbled kicking at the bike I revved up again and it cut out. Glenn had already driven of probably thinking I was not far behind them. A walker reached me I punched it in the jaw, its jaw went flying it turned back to me and groaned I frowned and stuck my knife into its skull.

"COME ON BABY" I yelled at the bike trying it one last time, suddenly the engine roared and I sped off leaving a trail of walkers behind me I smiled and screamed. "Yeah baby!".

It took me a while to get back, my bike kept cutting out when I did arrive back at the prison Carol and Maggie greeted me on the gate it was just before dark. I jumped off my bike and decided to push it the rest of the way. "What took you so long?" Carol asked skipping over to me, I rolled my eyes and turned to her.

"I almost died" I muttered she gasped.

"To bad" Maggie whispered sarcastically, I looked at him and frowned I should probably let that one go I'm sure Glenn would have something to say if I killed his girlfriend.

I dragged my bike to where we keep all the vehicles. I opened the trunk of Rick's car and pulled out the equipment for my bike, I began working on the beauty hoping no one would bother me for the next 2 hours.

"Daryl" I heard Ricks voice call. I closed my eyes and sighed I guess I wasn't getting that two hours. "What happened to you?" He asked I let go of my ranch letting it hit the ground. I got up and brushed the dirt off my pants.

"Bike trouble" I muttered.

"I think you should come inside" Rick told me I frowned and wiped the sweat of my face.

"Why?" I asked. He pulled something out of his pocket and showed me, it was dark so I couldn't see. I walked closer to him when I noticed it was a photo, a photo of me and … Ronnie. "The fuck is this" I spat I looked up and shoved him pushing him to the floor; I pinned him down and slammed him against the floor repeatedly. "WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?" I screamed I clenched my fist and smacked him square in the jaw before I felt hands pulling me away.

"Daryl get off him" Tyreese yelled pulling me back, Rick stood up and wiped his face on his sleeve.

"Where did you find it?" I yelled still being held under control by Tyreese.

"Calm down I found it when we went on the run, in the store" Rick said calmly, I pulled out of Tyreese' grip and walked back over to him. I looked him in the eye before snatching the photo and storming off back inside. She is alive. 


End file.
